Whether you work, stay at home, are single or married, being a mom to young children and babies is hard work. When I hear older, more seasoned moms tell me it’s worth it, all I can think about is how I will NOT miss the tantrums, the blowouts, the lack of sleep, the endless games of chase when I need to be somewhere five minutes ago, the crayon on the walls (why on earth are not all crayons washable?!), interrupted bathroom visits, the food on the floor, the food in the car, the food in my/their hair, the food protests on a meal I found on Pinterest while sifting through endless pins of recipes I will never try in this lifetime, or the next. Unless of course I hired a personal chef (Is that a thing?). Ah yes, I will miss this one day for sure (insert sarcastic tone here).
I like to think of every phase much like that newborn phase. The one where they were up half the night, I lost all sanity, longed for three straight hours of sleep and then one day, all of a sudden, my baby smiles at me and all those sleepless nights become worth it in an instant (or maybe it took a FEW smiles). Like how all those months of pure torture on my body and/or mind and heart became totally worth it in the first moment I laid eyes on my precious new bundle of joy! That’s when I look back and say, yes, I will miss this. Or the moment my babies all of a sudden bonds with their siblings and the craziness of juggling too many kids becomes worth it as their friendships begin to grow.
There are plenty of frustrating moments during the day. Those moments when I am struggling to keep it together, or wonder how other moms with more kids than me seem to do this ‘mom thing’ better than me. I need to always remember how only I see this aspect of my life. Only I see my children the way they are when only I am around. Only I have what it takes to make it all better for them, and only I can control the thoughts in my mind and the words out of my mouth. This is just a phase. A phase that will end just like any other. When that day comes, no one knows, but one thing is for certain, it WILL come.
So what should we tell ourselves so we can start enjoying this part of our lives? How can we get through our first few years as a mom without feeling like the women we’ve been our whole lives isn’t lost forever? This is the new you. This is the new ME. The better me, the smarter me. The old me, she’s in there somewhere, but she’s more now, she’s a mom. No matter how busy I try and make myself to get through the hardest things about being a mom to young children, the fact remains, I AM A MOM! And if we have trouble loving it, it’s time to take a deep look at WHY. Then work hard on the things we DO love about it! Instead of wasting time and energy trying to change the things we can’t… or controlling things that aren’t meant to be controlled.
If you already love being a mom, share your feelings on motherhood to other young moms. We look to each other for strength!
So if I could talk to my younger self I would say: Embrace the NEW YOU, make it OK to look back upon the old you as one part of yourself. You will change again. I promise. And when that day comes, you will look back at this season of your life as the moment that taught you what matters most. It’s not about the books that tell us to let our kids cry it out, or the parenting books that t
each us how to deal with our child’s endless tantrums… it is about YOU. If you want to get it right, accept that the only way to do that is to get it WRONG so that you can LEARN how to get it RIGHT! You follow me?
So take a long look in the mirror tonight. WHO do you see?? Don’t recognize her?? Well then, it is time to get to know her, because she is here to stay, and the only way to move forward from here, is to learn to love her! Got it!?
So for the next 30 days do yourself a favor, look into your eyes and repeat DAILY “I love and accept myself UNCONDITIONALLY as I am RIGHT NOW.” 30 days. That is all. And that means 30 days of not just checking your new hip disfiguration or new belly pooch, but looking into your own EYES, and accepting yourself! Your WHOLE self! The NEW YOU!