A few days ago I posted all about my internal struggle with the PHYSICAL aspect of Mormon Modesty as I was brought up to understand it. As a result, I had SO MANY people reach out to me personally to tell me of their own struggles, their own perspective, and their own testimonies on the subject. I didn’t realize being so vulnerable would have seriously brought me SO MUCH PEACE regarding the subject!
THANK YOU! Especially to those who really stepped out of their comfort zones to reach out and tell me about some really personal experiences they’ve had. You might wonder why this even matters to me… aren’t there a million more important things to worry about?! Well, there are definitely other things to worry about! However, having 4 girls, and already having discussions on modesty with my oldest two, my own thoughts on the subject kept rising to the surface. I don’t want to give them recited answers. I want to KNOW what I am preaching to them. I want them to KNOW what God intended for them, and I don’t want them to look at people and notice their clothing like I do, I want them to FEEL God’s LOVE for others as they work closely in our community to make it a better place. I want to reach that point for myself! I want to not even have that initial millisecond of a thought or judgement in my own head. I want to SEE people as GOD intended for them to be seen. I realize that starts with me… and how I see myself.
You see, I am not totally familiar with self-respect, dignity, and virtue…. Some of these things were stripped from me by the horrendous acts of others, and I lost what little was left over years of feeling worthless and not worth respect. When you don’t respect yourself, how can you really understand what dignity is?
I had no idea, until this past week has had my thoughts wrapped up in prayer and supplication to My Lord on the subject, that I was having these negative thoughts, I was fighting myself each day, because of how I viewed (or didn’t view) MYSELF!
Ok, so, in an effort to respect myself and feel the best I can about my own understanding of ‘Modesty.’ I am getting myself ready each morning, like REALLY ready, not the trendy, ‘just rolled out of bed’ look I have been sporting the past few years. I am going to put myself together, I am going to ‘dignify’ myself. I hope, that as time passes, and I learn to be comfortable in my own skin, that I will understand what modesty really is and what it is meant to be. I want my girls to not worry about the ‘lines’ and letter of the law. I want them to live beyond that, I want them to live in service of their fellow man, not judge them based on appearance. So… it starts here. I have to show them how. So that means I have LEARN how!
Lastly, my scriptures studies this week have all been pointing to this as my solution for better understanding. So I am getting dressed as much as humanly possible (I AM having a baby in a few weeks, so I will have to just do my best at that point.)
I will leave you with the quote that is ringing LOUD in my mind! And helped me conclude that I needed to put forth more effort to really understand this principle.
“In our search for enduring faith, in our quest to connect with God and His purposes, let us remember the Lord’s promise: “Knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”11
Will we give up after knocking on a door or two? A floor or two?
Or will we keep seeking until we have reached the fourth floor, last door?
God “rewards those who earnestly seek him,”12 but that reward is not usually behind the first door. So we need to keep knocking. Sisters, don’t give up. Seek God with all your heart. Exercise faith. Walk in righteousness.
I promise that if you will do this—even until the fourth floor, last door—you will receive the answers you seek. You will find faith. And one day you will be filled with light that grows “brighter and brighter until the perfect day.”13“