So… we’ve been married for 10 years. We made it 10 years, yet in MANY MANY ways, it feels like we have only scratched the surface on what it really MEANS to be married to someone.
When a ton of my friends are getting their first divorce, we are wrapping up 10 years of marriage with new found determination to make the next 10 years WAY better than the first 10.
With my husband’s permission -because it is OK to ask someone for their own permission before writing about stuff that involves them personally- I would like to share some of the things that have helped us stick together when in so many ways it would have been easier to walk away. Now that we have 6 kids, we have more than just ourselves to consider when we make choices regarding our marriage.
Marriage is hard and wonderful, it takes faith, love, forgiveness, work, commitment, consistency, and as my favorite Prophet of the Lord taught:
“Every marriage is subject to occasional stormy weather. But with patience, mutual respect, and a spirit of forbearance, we can weather these storms. Where mistakes have been made, there can be apology, repentance, and forgiveness. But there must be willingness to do so on the part of both parties.
I believe in the family where there is a husband who regards his companion as his greatest asset and treats her accordingly; where there is a wife who looks upon her husband as her anchor and strength, her comfort and security; where there are children who look to mother and father with respect and gratitude; where there are parents who look upon those children as blessings and find a great and serious and wonderful challenge in their nurture and rearing. The cultivation of such a home requires effort and energy, forgiveness and patience, love and endurance and sacrifice; but it is worth all of these and more.
I have learned that the real essence of happiness in marriage lies not so much in romance as in an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. Thinking of self alone and of the gratification of personal desires will build neither trust, love, nor happiness. Only when there is unselfishness will love, with its concomitant qualities, flourish and blossom.
Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley (https://www.lds.org/ensign/1992/08/i-believe?lang=eng)